Ok, so as I’m writing this I’m going through the most mentally draining part of my life I’ve ever experienced. I never thought that I would feel burnt out so quickly.
But this is my reality.
I’m tired. So tired that I feel like crying myself to sleep and then sleeping for days. This is the worse feeling that I have ever felt. I love all my jobs and the companies I work for. It’s not because I’m working multiple jobs. It’s because I’m bleeding money even with many jobs.
The nonprofit organization I work for has me doing 50+ hours of work, during 35 hours a week, in the form of three positions.
The grocery chain store I work at part time has me working about three days a week because I informed one of my coordinators that I was working another job and needed to cut back on my hours.
I feel used and almost like the job that I love doing is sucking the life out me and isn’t letting me take a chance to catch my breathe. And it would be different if I was paid more than minimum wage for all my work. The hardest part is that I can’t save any more than $50 each paycheck because I’m spending so much on gas to drive to the weekly 8+ hours that I need in order to even work all of these positions.
I’m only 22. I get that I’m not supposed to have much in my savings account, but when my monthly income is about $1,800, I’d expect to have more than $0-50 to put away each paycheck. Especially when you take into consideration that I still live with my parents and don’t have any student debt.
Most of my money goes towards my car. I have a car payment of $350 a month and an insurance cost of $110. The rest goes towards gas for my car or funding the supplies for my other jobs out of my pocket.
I want to cry. I want to do absolutely nothing now, but I can’t. And to answer the question of, “Why don’t you just take a few weeks vacation?” I can’t do that either. Two of my jobs are SEL mentoring programs that take place after school hours twice a week.(each job is one day) Another is teaching that same program in a community environment in the evening one day a week. Then the last job is doing in home additional counseling and skill building, which requires me to travel to the client’s home.
That’s all for one nonprofit organization.
What makes that situation more tiring and complicated is that because my programs and services are in person, I can’t miss more than one consecutive week. This means that is I cancel my programs and services for the first week of the month I can’t cancel them the second week. I would have to wait until the third or fourth week before I can do that.
So that takes out the possibility of going on a vacation somewhere. But given my draining bank account, I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere anyway.
It’s funny when the job that doesn’t tire me out is the job that I’m only working a few days a week and make less at.
To My Anxiety 
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